|
i absolutely love guys... i dont know why but i like talkin to em... well i kinda live in a small town... not like one horse town cause we got a few barns and its not like i know my complete way around town or anything but anyway... its so small that this guy that went to my elementary school goes to my highschool now... but it also a lifeguard at the health club that i go to... kind of weird... yea well today me n natalie went to the health club... and he came after we had and didnt say a word except to his co lifeguard r whatever so then when she took her break he came talk to us and i was like yea sure whatever... and well it ends up he just ended a relationship he had with a girl that i played softball with a few years ago... i liked her when she was on my team but she seems kind of like an insecure person who sleeps around... maybe... and she's just a year older than me... well i was completely grossed out by this... but that has no purpose to my story... anyway... he was flirting with me nat the entire time we were there... it was fun but pick one girl please... cause id be on the otherside of the pool and he'd be flirting with her... but come to find out he's a player anyway... and he's now a senior at the school that im gonna be a freshman at... so that will not happen... but it was fun... o yea it was great i put on this little boy's shark goggle/mask thing and i went underwater for a while and then i came back up and i told the guy... o his name's cody the lifeguard... ok i told cody that im a pretty good lookin shark and he was like yea a shark with a pretty nice body and i was like grossed out completely by that cause ya know thats kinda weird cause he's a good bit older but i was i was kind of mean i said somethin like umm alrighty then... i dunno but it was funny...
orientation is tomorrow for school and the might be too much information but we have to take pictures for our ID and the year book... well i got a few "blemishes" on my face... and i dunno im kind of insecure bout that stuff... but it probably wont show up in the picture... i hope...
im excited about school and all... its gonna be a bit overwhelming at first... and i dont know when i want to dramatize the moment of starting school... see i plan to take a deep breath when i walk in the doors... but im not sure if i wanna do it orientation day or the first day of school...maybe ill do both... who knows... and who cares for that matter... o well...
the only things that are scaring me about highschool academically are science, algebra 1 honors, and honors english
now socially... im not sure if everygirl is gonna hate me cause i flirt WAY TOO MUCH! but thats my outer personality i guess... im kinda split... but the other thing is matt... im not sure if he wants me hangin around him at school ya know... like embarrassed by me or somethin o well ill get over it...
but back to my split personalities... i got the outer which seem like a flirtasious shallow girl... my inner would be my love for country music... my poetry/song writing, my singing, and my odd sarcastic outlook on life... but at this point in time i havent exactly worked my personality kinks out yet cause its a lil thing called hormones for a girl this age... yea but ill be ok i know... i got faith... in God of course but also in myself... cause im the kind of girl who if she's feelin like a little lonely and not all out depressed she'll go up to random ppl and introduce herself... and ill do that... but if im full out depressed... well ill go sit in a corner and pity myself... which i bet isnt healthy but u know neither is half the other stuff i do like never eating fruits and vegetables... but thats ok God'll keep me on this earth as long as he wants too...
i was thinkin early early this morning... with nat... we were walkin to watch the sunrise but a big tree ended up bein in the way but anyway we were walkin and talkin and i was wavin to random ppl who passed by in their cars and she's like stop it they'll come back and kill us or somethin i was like well if im supposed to die that way... so be it... i mean ill resist cause maybe im supposed to survive somethin like that but if i die tomorrow i wont be happy with my life but its my time to go... but thats how i feel about my own death... if nat died... id die... id go back into a depression and just not talk... wow its hard to think about your friends dying... and scary... well my mom wants me to go to bed early so i can get up when they go to the store so i can wash, dry, and straighten my hair cause i never straighten my hair but they want my picture to look good but u know what... i dont care about my hair... its all in the way u carry urself... with a healthy and respectable amount of pride and respect for yourself... i guess i dont know i think i just wanted to sound profound... haha i doubt i do... o well im goin
goodnight
claire
|
